What ups and downs

I am sat here months after my last attempt to write an update on this blog and I don't know how I'll compress and express everything that has happened since the last time I posted, January 1st at the beginning of this 2019.

I'll not be putting my pictures, I just need to get this blog back on track and moving again, and maybe this will be part of my healing process.

To put it mildly 2019 has been a remarkably difficult year.

Of course as mentioned in the last update I found that Sassy was dead, though she had been off her food for a few days and I was wondering whether she would get better or not. That was my first grave I have dug this year, up next to Mo near the Silver Birch in the top corner. She was a good rabbit though I always think I should have made her a tractor run and let her have a more natural life than up on that balcony. Then my Nana passed away of the illness she had been suffering, which was very sad but not unexpected.

What a wonderful thing; this is a Very Happy Beard Daddy

Then a pure moment of true amazingness. Little Rosie came into the world and my life changed immeasurably. She was healthy, and remains so to this day (though I've had to come away for work so I'm missing her every day). Nothing can prepare you for what fatherhood actually means. Nothing. She is certainly the only really meaningful thing I've ever had a part in. Amazing. She will not appear regularly in photographs on this blog (that isn't what this is about) but as of today, just over two months later, I've got more than 1,000 photographs and videos of her and this number will only grow.

Then my life fell apart; a freak accident put my father into a coma and he never came out of it. He died having never met my daughter and with such suddenness that there was no time to prepare. One minute the greatest man I've ever known was there, the next he was gone. We were helped IMMEASURABLY by the wonderful embassies in Sofia, both the Irish and British embassies went beyond the call of duty to help us get traveling documents for Rosie so we could all get back to the UK for my mum. Sadly we were not able to get back before my Dad passed; there was nothing that could be done about that.

I really cannot speak highly enough of the help from Sofia; they truly made a huge difference to me, and more importantly my Mum.

The funeral was an intense day, and humbling for the people who made an effort to be there and show their love for my Dad. I can't remember all that much of the day right now, except trying to stay next to my Mum. Some people were there I've not seen since I was in single digits as well as friends I've known since then as well. A truly incredible day, but one I would give up for having him back.

The previous attempt to write a blog was the day of my Dad's accident, but I did not know as I was writing it that he was in such a way.

Digging the grave for Rambo

The Cairn I have built over his grave site

And so to the next thing; Rambo is now no longer with us either. He collapsed one day and managed to get back up but over the next few days his state became so bad he could not move at all; I had to carry him out to the toilet but of course I wasn't there all the time. We had to take him to the vet and have him put to sleep. I spent that entire day digging another grave, this one much larger than Sassy's, and then building a cairn over the top.

And so it has taken me a long time to write the second blog post of 2019. I have taken nearly 2000 pictures since the 1st, many lovely moment as well as the horrible ones listed here. We had some snow (Rambo loved that) and Bekci the new guard dog is settling in. Rosie has been an unending source of joy and this year our focus for building work has to be the bedroom and playroom for her off the Kitchen. I've managed to get work again, though I've had to be away for a month while I'm settling in the company. After this it should be fully remote which is perfect. The week after next I'll be driving back to Bulgaria again, this time with my mum, and I cannot wait to get home.

I'll close this update with a couple of videos that A took the other day, stood on the balcony, of nightingales singing in the dark.

And I'll dedicate this blog to my Dad. He was everything to me and he'll never leave me; I now have to live up to his example.

Thanks for reading - normal service will be resumed in a couple of weeks time.

Final week, then back to blighty

Hey, hasn't it been a while since I updated this. The lack of update has been caused by just having no time at all, what with legging it back to the UK on short notice.

It's early Monday morning now and we're getting Bekir and the boys back today hopefully for at most a week to finish off the final tasks of the year, so I figured I'd better clear this update out the way before more stuff happens.

Moving the big work bench

Production line of wood to be stained

Sun trying to break through

Wahoo Sally is back!

Bekir measuring and working out the humanure work

More tiling happening

Two weeks ago began with moving the big workbench in the workshop out of the way so Mesut could finish the tiling. It's a hefty lump and took four of us to shift. With that done the crew moved to their tasks, with Sally and Okhtay painting all the remaining wood with stain, while the sun tried to break through the fog but failed, and Bekir cleared the brush and worked out plans for the brick wall I am having made for the humanure collection point which, after three years, is falling apart and rotting. Mesut inside worked away as he does, steadily and efficiently.

This room is so badly in need of tidying

They are playing, honest

A martinitsa that was tied to the tea trees

Butterflies still flying around

Back up the scaffold

Grouting done

One of the tasks for the men before they leave is to move the wood store from where it is now, in the old tool room, and fit it up in the new workshop. This is for two reasons. Firstly I need to organise that room so next year the final fit electrics, dust extraction etc can be fitted but also now we have our new arrival on the way this messy room will be turned into a bedroom and play room and a door will be knocked through into the kitchen, right behind where the wood rack is. So it needs moved. I went in and did a bunch of shifting, but not much tidying, to make that extraction easier when it was reached. Outside Bekci and Rambo were having a play, they are getting on much better all the time now and we've even seen them playing together on the back bank on their own (and Rambo has taken her for his rounds of the perimeter which is just awesome). The sun had finally broken through and it was a glorious day, with butterflies fluttering around, while Bekir and Sally were up the scaffold fitting the soffits that had been stained in the morning. Mesut had finished the tiling and was grouting and cleaning where the work bench would be put back; this time it was being rotated 90 degrees and going underneath the window, a far more suitable position for it.

Where this bench will stay

Okhtay starts digging

Up the scaffold as we left

Still up the scaffold when we got back

On Tuesday we were not around much as we had to go to see the hospital and meet the doctor where A is going to give birth. We still had the men in working and before we headed off I helped shift the workbench into place. Mesut was carrying on the grouting in the rest of the room while Okhtay had the task of digging the foundations as we waited for a delivery of blocks and cement for the wall to be begun. We left Bekir and Sally working up the scaffold and when we got back after our visit, which went well and was easy though we did go to the wrong hospital first off and had to be directed down the road to the correct place, they were still up the scaffold but it had been moved to the last position. So close to completed.

Final stretch

Puppies so happy to have the fire

My wood storage rack is removed...

... and shifted through

Mesut's floor is clean, briefly

Wednesday was the final workday for the men, and going to be a short day as well. Bekir and Sally finished the final few bits up the scaffold and then very quickly completed on the roof terrace and that is that task complete. This autumn has actually been quite warm however we're slowly getting to the fire time of year and the puppies are very pleased about this; they love their fire. With the soffits done, and the scaffold stacked neatly waiting collection from the truck bring the blocks and cement, Bekir and Sally went into the tool room and I helped them clear away the wood from the racking before they took it down and shifted it into the workshop. I then struggled for a bit with whether I wanted that racking to be put back up (I was feeling like it wasn't all the well made and maybe a proper construction would be better) and so I thought about it while they paused for lunch. Mesut was cleaning away after finishing the grouting; he laughed to see the dirt being tracked in on his nice clean floor.

Bekir fixing up the damaged door

Wood storage being fitted

Trimming the bottom to fit over the tile edging

We are THIS happy about the pahlenka

Bekir had spotted that the Green Building door was looking very battered - it had been blown off its hinges by wind and that damaged the surround so it was falling apart. He jumped on to fixing this up over lunch and now the building is secure again, which is good. I decided after talking with A to go ahead using the old racking and with that decision made Bekri and Sally spent the rest of the day trimming and fitting up to make sure it would be as solid and much better than before. They got the first upright in place and it is certainly secure and solid. I took the men home at about 4pm and then headed off to town for the scan that we had booked, which was awesome and we even got videos of bubba, and then we headed up the hill to have pahlenka and other lovely food as a celebration meal. It was just a perfect way to end the day. We chilled out, didn't rush, took our time and headed home full of good food and happy.

On the bus and cramped

Raining as I leave

Mum enjoying her chinese takeaway

Fish and chips to finish the week

My absolutely wonderful Nana

And so Thursday came and I was on the bus to Sofia and then on a plane to Birmingham for my trip back to go see my Nana, who has suddenly become very unwell. The journey there was cramped and uncomfortable and I was very pleased to reach my parents' house and get some sleep. The week went very well, as well as could be expected, with loads of visits to see my Nana, and also getting to see some family I don't see very often. We had chinese takeaway, and I teased A with a picture of my mum enjoying it, and then later on we had fish and chips and another tease picture had to be taken. The final day was pretty tough as I was saying goodbye to my Nana; she is comfortable and not in pain and surrounded by family however I will miss her.

I am welcomed home by Louise

A beautiful and dramatic morning

Thelma stretching in front of the fire

Such a glorious view

Probably the nicest steak I've eaten in Bulgaria

I stopped in Sofia in a hotel, having landed late at night, and got the bus back and was welcomed very happily by the puppies; they missed me and so did A. I was pretty tired from the week and am only now just starting to recover actually. The sun came out for my return, it having rained continually while I was away, but it was still cold and the puppies were loving the fire as always. I've just had to light it now actually, and it's raining once more, which isn't what we wanted with that wall to be built outside. Oh well. Last night I went out with a friend for food and a few beers to celebrate bubba, something that I do not do very much, and it was a lovely evening. Bless her we couldn't find any taxis at all so A came out to chauffeur. What a star.

So there you have it. A is heading back with Bekir and Sally, but only those two, and hopefully this week the final tasks can be completed before we pack up for winter. Thanks for reading.