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| Me, last night |
Not all the time, not even most of the time, but every now and then all the possibilities of what others may term "failure" come flooding into my mind and I cannot help but to think on them.
What happens if, when I get there, I have another four months of planning to go through before I can do any work on the school? What if this even includes the roof! How will I cope with having to live in Julian for that long... Even worse, what if I cannot get a temporary contract for the electric and I don't even have electricity on the site?!
Then to the slightly longer term concerns such as how will I keep my motivation up through the entire period of the build, particularly if (when) there are delays caused by waiting for materials, people and approval for plans. How will I cope being out there all on my own through this process? Will the fact of being alone allow me to avoid what I need to do and result in the renovation not being done to the standard which I aspire?
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| This is what I need.... |
It is from her which I draw my strength and reassurance.
It is possible, and there is no reason not to give it a go.
The other side of the coin which I challenge myself with at times like these is "What is failure?"
So what if I go out there, give this a go and realise it isn't for me. Who cares. The only failure in life is the failure to try and I am giving it a go.
These demons don't surface that often but they do surface. They will surface for you if you start to plan something like I am doing. They should be used to help you look coldly and clearly at your plans and to encourage yourself that you are not going into it blindly.
So, if you are thinking of emigrating, or even if your plans aren't as grand as that (maybe changing jobs or something) then remember; fears and worries can be used to educate yourself. Don't be scared of fear.
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| You can reach your promised land |
Take it from somebody who's been there - no amount of planning and no amount of luck (good or bad) will come to anything if you don't do it. And as for success, my best planned moves and my luckiest breaks have still always ended up coming to nothing and almost always for reasons beyond my control.
ReplyDeleteFrom where I was one week ago I may now have lucked into a really good source of income, just when I thought it was turning to shit.
You know this, of course. The fear is what tells you you're living!
(Anyway, you won't be entirely alone- I'm planning to come over and lend a hand at some point... preferably once you've got 'lectrics and a shower rigged up! )
Yeah for sure :) I think being scared is healthy... I more wrote this because anyone else thinking of emigrating may be scared and think it is a bad thing :)
Deletethat's great news about the income dude :)
I'd be more concerned if you weren't scared.
ReplyDeleteOh and when you get there, buy a kickass generator, bound to be useful for all sorts of emergencies, money well spent IMO :o)
Yeah me too :)
DeleteI just want to be really blunt and honest in this so I can look back on it in years to come... and also so it can encourage others to follow their dreams (maybe)
yeah, about the genie, I may even get one here cos my unit doesn't have electricity and I'm not gonna bother connecting it up...
Fear is a good thing, it keeps you sharp, keeps you focused on what you need to do and when in a desperate situation keeps you alive.
ReplyDelete"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear." Rosa Parks
yeah this is true. and i'd hate for this to come across as some kind of freezing fear... it's just healthy concern and awareness of risk :)
Deletecheers bro
Andrew.....Look at me and what I have achieved. Yes its been difficult and my place is twice as big but you will get there in the end. I listened to my heart, (and many others along the way :)) Mine is still beating and others have gone.... I WILL get there in the end and I am sure you will also. Things take time here in Bulgaria and not all things are as transparent as they seem.
ReplyDeleteThank you mate :) I appreciate the comments :) I cannot wait, in all honesty :)
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